Wow! Is not even the word to describe what I'm feeling. Since I was 14, living in New York has been on my "to do" list. I remember crying while watching the Tony Awards and thinking, "Someday, I'll be on that stage accepting an award, too". For many years fear, doubt, and naysayers beat back my creative urge. I slacked up on or didn't pursue 100% the artistic spark that God had imbued me with. It wasn't until nearly 2 years ago that I felt as if that spark was slowly dying. I was at work, there was this heaviness (spiritual) that, literally, was choking me. As I walked down the airport's concourse, an inner voice spoke, "You are not fulfilling your purpose, girl. These people see that light in you and they want to extinguish it. NOW is the time to leave. You've overstayed your welcome in a black hole." Thirty minutes into my shift, I called a meeting with my supervisor. "Max, I can't do this anymore. There's something bigger and better out there for me. Living and performing in mediocrity is not what I do, anymore." With that, I walked out and never looked back. It was tough, financially. I had a PT job that barely covered the bills. Yet, I found the extra funds to take my first acting class. Through the years, I'd practiced monologues that resonated with me. But this was the real deal. Here I was...nervous as all get out, running through scenes with classmates who'd been acting 'in utero'. I got up on that stage and felt a surge of electricity. I knew I was at home.
After completing this class, I decided to audition for a prestigious MFA theater program in NYC. I submitted a tape and prayed for the best. If God wanted me to follow this path, then He'd make a way. You've all guessed it by now: I GOT IN!!!!! At that very moment, I knew that one of my prayers had been answered. It wasn't an easy trip though. Certain people had it in their hearts that maybe this wasn't God's will. I was like, "Really?? So you sit on His right shoulder and know what He thinks?" They did everything to discourage me. One even offered this lame excuse, " Well, I'm just scared for you. You have no job and you're not 21 any longer". To which I replied, "Scared for ME??? I'm at an age where I have the maturity and drive to start over. Besides, my dorm is already waiting for me and so is my financial aid package". Only my mother and my little sister, along with some very close friends, have been supportive of my decision. And to tell the truth, I don't regret it!
The day I left Texas, I was battling with self-doubt and on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I was starting to listen to what the doubters said. And to top it off, there was the tail of a hurricane still lingering over the city. When I reached Louisiana, I encountered torrential rains that didn't stop until a few days after my NY arrival. I, literally, drove nearly 2 days nonstop through hell. Call it a metaphor or not, I survived it! I'm living and participating in the city of my dreams, doing what I've always wanted to do (and more) and loving every minute of it. For the first time in my life...I feel, see, smell, and taste, more vividly.
I cannot believe the 1st semester is over. First off, let me say this: I love my professors and new family! I've spent most of my free time exploring the city and its boroughs. If I am asleep...don't wake me! Until next time......
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